21 commandments to good living

• Thou shall not eye thy friends girl friend/sister/mother no matter how much of a bomb she/they is/are.

• Thy shall never pass wind in public; if you do, it should be silent and non smelly.

• Thou shall always wear deodorant or cologne and not stink like something that came back from the dead.

• Thy will slap/pinch/kick/punch/beat/bite/burn and use other possible torture equipments on annoying little children.

• Thou shall borrow money from your friends(only when required) and then return it.

• Thou will never under any circumstances scratch thyself at any body part in public

• Thou will refrain from digging your nose in public.

• Thou shall resist the temptation to gorge on food as a substitute for love.

• Thy will spend money on good underwear.

• Thy will worship only one God and that one God is: me.

• Thy will always complement me.

• Thy will never oppose my viewpoint.

• Thy(for females only) will inform me as soon as you get into a mud fight.

• Thy will show affection for friends by using prefixing and suffixing profanity to their names.

• Thou will NOT under any circumstances get drunk and start dancing like a Mumbai bar dancer on cheap Punjabi songs(at least not in public or at weddings).

• Thy will not speak with a fake accent.

• Thy will not act dumb to be cute(after all not everyone is Paris Hilton).

• Thy will not act oversmart to be sophisticated.

• Thou(for guys specifically) will not brag about the multi million dollar deal which is coming through but actually does not exist.

• Thy WILL NOT CALL America: Amreeeekka.

• Thou will not add extra syllables to thy name just because some random astrologer says so; imagine Kkkettan Kappoour(HORROR!!!!!!!!!).