Children, irritants and torture
I remember myself as a child very vividly. I was quite, obedient, well behaved and trained in social etiquettes and manners. I had a code of conduct, which my mother insisted that I follow religiously in any social occasion, or I faced the risk of a nice thrashing when I came back home. Not that I enjoyed being all goody too shoes all the time or even getting thrashed, but at least I never made a nuisance of myself, and I am proud of it.
Ahh, those were the days…when my mothers glare was enough for me to whimper away in a corner, her stern admonishments were substantial enough for me to mend my ways.
Alas, the new parenting rules have wreaked havoc on the personality of the upcoming generation. The children today make Damien look like Mary’s little lamb. They are noisy, rambunctious, belligerent and just plain annoying. They shout, screech, throw tantrums, spoil their clothes, run around bumping into people, ruin the environment and just make nuisances out of themselves. A misbehaved child is Gods way of suggesting reintroduction of corporal punishment in contemporary parenting.
Public places are the worst backdrop for any misbehaved child to lose his nut. When I see those raucous little beasts clinging to their parent’s dear life, or running around in the metro, howling at the top pf their voices, while the helpless, desperate parents look indifferent, I am filled with the urge to deliver a few tight slaps across the brat’s despicable face, and perhaps threaten him with stuffed chillies in his mouths and eyes, and also do at least one and at the same time, cane the parents for their poor parenting and training.
I am sure that most of you have guessed by now that I dislike children. Well, no, that is not the case. I merely despise the ill mannered ones. You know the kinds I am talking about, those who come to your place and ruin your new upholstery with their filthy little appendages, or break your child’s toys, meddle with your delicate crystal and china, run around in circles, shouting and screaming and touching things you haven’t let your own flesh and blood touch with bean poles. The uncontrollable and unmanageable little nasty devils who keep barging in and out of rooms and talk rudely and caustically… Yes, those are the ones who deserve absolute and pure torture as their comeuppance.
Hanging them upside down, raining them with belts and chappals, pinching them and poking them with needles are just some of the way that they can be dealt with. Other innovative ideas discussed by my friends and I are pulling their hair, making them frog jump for 10 hours on an empty stomach, locking them in the bathroom with chillies in their mouth and switching off the light. Making them sleep outside the house on a cold bitter evening…you get the idea, right?
Ahh, those were the days…when my mothers glare was enough for me to whimper away in a corner, her stern admonishments were substantial enough for me to mend my ways.
Alas, the new parenting rules have wreaked havoc on the personality of the upcoming generation. The children today make Damien look like Mary’s little lamb. They are noisy, rambunctious, belligerent and just plain annoying. They shout, screech, throw tantrums, spoil their clothes, run around bumping into people, ruin the environment and just make nuisances out of themselves. A misbehaved child is Gods way of suggesting reintroduction of corporal punishment in contemporary parenting.
Public places are the worst backdrop for any misbehaved child to lose his nut. When I see those raucous little beasts clinging to their parent’s dear life, or running around in the metro, howling at the top pf their voices, while the helpless, desperate parents look indifferent, I am filled with the urge to deliver a few tight slaps across the brat’s despicable face, and perhaps threaten him with stuffed chillies in his mouths and eyes, and also do at least one and at the same time, cane the parents for their poor parenting and training.
I am sure that most of you have guessed by now that I dislike children. Well, no, that is not the case. I merely despise the ill mannered ones. You know the kinds I am talking about, those who come to your place and ruin your new upholstery with their filthy little appendages, or break your child’s toys, meddle with your delicate crystal and china, run around in circles, shouting and screaming and touching things you haven’t let your own flesh and blood touch with bean poles. The uncontrollable and unmanageable little nasty devils who keep barging in and out of rooms and talk rudely and caustically… Yes, those are the ones who deserve absolute and pure torture as their comeuppance.
Hanging them upside down, raining them with belts and chappals, pinching them and poking them with needles are just some of the way that they can be dealt with. Other innovative ideas discussed by my friends and I are pulling their hair, making them frog jump for 10 hours on an empty stomach, locking them in the bathroom with chillies in their mouth and switching off the light. Making them sleep outside the house on a cold bitter evening…you get the idea, right?
posted by lucifers son | 10:01 AM
3 Comments:
awesome!! i totally agree!!
tyrant..
FAb fAb FAB!!!! fantastic hon!!!! i confess you the professor of all that need to be taught on the management of unruly misbehaved brat like creatures!!!
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