SUGGESTED COMMUTER POLICY REFORMS FOR DELHI METRO RAIL CORPORATION

SUGGESTED COMMUTER POLICY REFORMS FOR DELHI METRO RAIL CORPORATION

1.There should be an intensive screening process for selecting only those commuters who are
a) Aesthetically appealing and do not pollute the others commuters line of sight with their obscene looks
b) Well dressed and are wearing only branded and fashionably suited clothes, all garments bought at
weekly markets, road sides or without price tags, must be surrendered at the security check

2.All women with undone eyebrows, unwaxed arms and legs, moustaches, beards and hideous
sideburns must be disallowed from using the metro.

3.All annoying children must either, be anaesthetized or bound, gagged and put in trunks.

4.People with Body odour must be fumigated/ given a bath/ sprayed with a deodorant, depending upon the
severity of the stench.

5.All those wearing hair oil (especially the smelly variety) must be shampooed from head to toe

6.All those who sit on the metro floor, taking up twice the space they should, must be beaten with Hawai
Chappals till they are black and blue.

7.All those who rush into the metro at speeds of greater than .5 kilometre an hour, must be amputated, and
put on the metro tracks to meet a horrible, painful, bloody end.