I am Back...Sigh!!!

A person needs a little madness, or else
they never dare cut the rope and be free.

-Nikos Kazantzakis

I feel out of sync and out of tune from the world around me. There is a restlessness of sorts. As if a part of me is left behind. There is a distraction, a gnawing sense of aloofness. I feel a sudden disconnect and detachment from my surroundings as my heart and mind take refuge in the memoirs of the sense of utmost liberation and freedom. I feel euphoric and ecstatic in one instant and helpless and trapped in another. Trapped in the opacity of the life and routine I will have to confirm to.

My vacation was an attempt at absorbing the remnants of my past, the tangibility of the present and the dreams of my future. A journey within and without, no doubt. I learnt to let go of what was transient and hold onto what was indelible. I learnt to listen to the waves that beseech you and to people who matter. I realized that I am not as sane as I thought I was ( and I never was very sane, mind you). I rejoiced and reveled in my insanity, in the foolishness of my ideals, which I am sure to know will shatter the moment I step into the world. I know I will probably have to lock my inner child in a dark dungeon, to be freed only in fleeting moments of overwhelm. I know, I might never get the time to talk crazy and be myself. Scary...

Yet, since I am crazy, I need not confirm to all these ideals. I can still throw a tantrum if I feel like, still talk rubbish because I want to, still be idealistic, since I have the license to be mad, still have elaborate plans about the future, still dream of being on the cover of Time magazine with my partner, as the most powerful couple in the 21st century. Still own the numerous villas and penthouses, still have the time and resources to travel the world on foot. Still get hurt over small but significant matters, still cry my heart out because I just feel like. Still be stupid where mental rigor is not required. Not saying that I wont grow up, just that I will always keep young.

After all, the happiest and most content part of you, is your mad inner child, curious and carefree, who explores the word with an innocent inquisitiveness and a simple desire to just be himself.

Really missing the chai's on the sea shore, the walks on the beach, the midnight songs, the mosquito bites in the night of the clearest skies, brightest starts and frequent shooting stars. The Breakfast at Honey Bee's, the over cooked Tuna at the Garden restaurant, the stupid plans at Golden beach . Most of all...the Company.